Making friends as an adult
Why is it so hard to find friends when you’re an adult? Where do you begin to look?
When you’re in school, finding friends is as easy as anything- you just have to find the crowd that you fit in. As you grow and mature, friends change and others stay along for the ride for the rest of your life. But, what is you were one of the ones that took friendships for granted, like me?
Friends are the ones that hold your secrets. The ones that you run to with the latest gossip or news of life. They share your life memories and are intertwined in your life. So, picking the perfect friends are very important.
When I was in Kindergarten, my family moved from Dayton to Xenia. Yes, I was five and many five-year olds don’t remember their first day of school in a new town, but I do. In 1977, in Xenia, the town was all prepared for another “Big Tornado” to strike at any time. The Elementary school that I started consisted of modules the were lined up in rows in a field next to the tornado shelters that were nestled under the surface of the ground. I was scared and alone.
Days after, I met a girl that would end up being my best friend throughout my school days. After high school, I started a family and she headed off to college. Like many relationships, ours grew apart and we stopped speaking. Now, I miss her like everything. I miss her mother, her brothers and even her father. I hadn’t realized so long ago how much they all had shaped my life and how much I would miss them. I lost part of my family.
Now, after two failed marriages, kids are grown and on their own, I realize that finding and making friends are really hard. I eventually moved back to the area where I went to school and have reconnected with old school friends – that I will now cherish for life. But, I would like to make a friend that live close to me or that I can see on a daily basis. But, how?
My husband says it’s so creepy that way I’m going about it- the grocery store, Facebook, online sales, stores, etc. I recently bought a dresser from someone down the street and when I went to the house to pick it up, I was met at the door by a beautiful New York girl that I wanted to be friends with. I almost said, “Will you please be my friend?” Creepy? YES! But, I wanted to be her friend. I wanted to know what it was like to be her? I wanted her to teach me how to dress, how to do my makeup, my hair, etc. I’m sure I could have taught her something in the long run- maybe.
Being an adult is complicated as well. When I find a friend, I have to make sure they also like my husband, kids, and even my dog. I also have to make sure that I like everyone in her life too. There is nothing worse than having a friend that hates your spouse or you hate theirs. I don’t want someone that’s going to rock the boat with my marriage. Also, they can’t hit on my husband either. Been there- done that. Don’t mess with my man and I won’t mess with yours!
So, on with my search.